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Joke of the Day

"*pets a duck* helo litle friemd u used to b a dinosuar"

"How does a one-legged Chinese man walk? He takes a great leap forward."

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"

"Did you see that Walmart will be closing about 500 stores by the end of the year...? It's going to put about 12 cashiers out of work."

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba? He didn't want to play second fidel"

"I got confused watching highlights from the SAG awards. I always thought they were the 15-year reunions of the AVNs."

"What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven"

"What do you call a guy who checks his blood sugar frequently? Sir Lance A. Lot"

"I never wash my fruit, in case anybody's wondering how badass I am."