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Joke of the Day
"*pets a duck* helo litle friemd u used to b a dinosuar"
Next Joke
"""We're halfway there... wow-ohh!! Livin' on a vain hope to which the Universe is indifferent!"" - Athiest Bon Jovi"
"Ever want to have rodeo sex? Get on top and call her by the wrong name and try and hold on for 8 seconds."
"What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke? You really have to nail it"
"My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night... She nearly took my fucking eye out."
"I am rarely judgmental, but I do scowl, and shake my head slowly in disapproval whenever I see a vegan biting its nails."
"Why did the Sheikh cross the road? To get to the other wife."
"Did you hear the outcome of Bernie Sanders recent doctor's visit? He tested positive for Chlamydia after /r/Jokes entire user base felt the bern in their throats."
"How is a woman like a bar? Liquor in the front, poker in the back ( )"
"if ur worried ur not gonna get a New Years Eve kiss just remember that Valentines Day is in 45 days n ur probably gonna b alone for that too"