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Joke of the Day

"Survival of the Fittest Women in the New Zealand wilderness survives by drinking her own breast milk. Your turn Bear Grylls"

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches and one watches cells"

"all ramen noodles come from one impossibly long noodle of disputed origins. no one knows how much is left or what will happen when it's gone"

"Been talking to this girl for 10 mins and she hasn't slapped me OR called me ""gross""... Hope she's ok with the names I picked for our kids."

"I think my girlfriend is being stalked... ...because I've been seeing people behind her back."

"Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name."

"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How do you get his little legs open?"

"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise"

"adopted son son: mom i am 100% sure i am adopted, you do not Love me. mom: if we have had adopted a child, we would have adopted the one with better face."