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Joke of the Day

"Where do one-legged waitresses work? IHOP. Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning."

"Why did the farmer take a milk bath? Because he's too tall for a milk shower."

"A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. So who's driving? Neither! They're both research scientists gathering data on Google's driverless car. You racist"

"What do you find in between the tits of an old woman that you won't find in between those of a young woman? A belly button."

"Want to hear a Star Wars joke? Hayden Christensen"

"Anything u say can & will be used against u, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I'm a woman. And, we never forget. Anything. Ever."

"How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin Step 1: Stop wearing other people's skin"

"Utensils Guy 1: ""Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"" Guy 2: ""That's forked up!"" Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2* Guy 2: ""What? Too spoon?*"

"What does a triangular acorn say when it grows up? Geometry."

"Why didn't Edward get on the plane? Cause it was snowed-in."