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Joke of the Day

"My jokes are like hot chicks... Hard to get, and once you do they're not nearly as good as you thought they'd be."

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"Q: Who has eight pistols and terrorizes the seas? A: Billy the Squid."
"What do you call a psychic midget that broke out of jail? A small medium at large"
"Great... This guy double parked his porsche, and now I've got paint all in my keys."
"Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?"
"Happy New Year! Welcome to 20!"
"How do they keep track of books at the sausage library? The Andouille Decimal System"
"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"
"Which football team to you need to connect up your computer? Leeds."
"What do you call a snobby thief running down your stairs? A condescending con descending."
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