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Joke of the Day

"ITS A BOY"" I shouted ""A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!"

"A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers. It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz."

"A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person."

"An immigration officer asks a drunk man if he's Hungarian he says ""yep, but my name's not Arian"""

"What did the Latin guy say after he had sex? Veni. Veni. Veni."

"What do you call a group of JD Salingers? A Humble Hindi Bundle."

"Doctor: Have you quit smoking yet? Me: Has there been a string of unsolved murders in the news? Doctor: No. Me: Then, no, I haven't."

"What do you call a well-rounded porn star? A jack-off all trades."

"I've invented a new flavour of crisps, if they're successful I'll make a packet."

"Friends and family sometimes said I was a kid stuck in a man's body. The police say I'm a man caught in a kids body."