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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got her period today... ...and I guess, since I'm the adult in this relationship, I'm going to have to have ""the talk"" with her. They grow up so fast..."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."

"Why did the overly sensitive man with poor grammar not put his sweater in the dryer? It felt bad"

"Before you have kids, practice yelling ""GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!"" & see if it's right for you."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box."

"saw your mum at the supermarket buying vaseline & cucumbers & nothing else, no wonder your dad died if that what she puts in sandwiches"

"The EU have finally come up with a new currency It's Greece proof."

"70% of the Earth's surface is water. The other 30% is covered in advertisements for The Blacklist."

"What's long and green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."