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Joke of the Day

"A man is donating at his local sperm bank, right as he finishes the doctor walks in.... covers his eyes, and says dont worry I didnt see nuttin"

"So why is it called the ""funny bone""? BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS"

"A cop pulls over Heisenburg, and says... Do you know you were going 100 miles per hour? Heisenburg then replied, exasperatedly, ""Dammit, now I'm lost!"""

"Today I shot a black man and his wife It was a beautiful wedding"

"I'm almost drunk enough to comment on a YouTube video."

"I like to pride myself on knowing whether it's Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum."

"Being OCD and an optimist, I see the glass half full but I measure to make sure it's EXACTLY half."

"[1st date] ""My birthday is on April 20th, so 4/20. Isn't that cool? When's yours?"" Oh, umm *sweating* Sextember 69th"

"What do you call a chicken coup with more than two doors? A chicken sedan."

"Father: You were absent on the day of the test? Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!"