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Joke of the Day

"i know a guy who loves saying ""best thing since sliced bread"" and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it"

"Did you hear about the lawyer selling moonshine from a van outside the courthouse? He was disbarred."

"This guy just scrolls through his Facebook page... And then he notices that ""Steve (Minecraft) has blocked you."""

"One-percenters and Jimmy Swaggart One-percenters' relationship with politicians is like Jimmy Swaggart's with prostitutes. They pay lots of money to see other people get fucked."

"Did you know your kitchen faucet might raid your house? Let that sink in..."

"I like my violence like I like my beer.. Domestic."

"How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ? Hide the ball it drives them nuts !"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a spear? A spear has a point!"

"This morning I combed my son's hair sideways and to the front then yelled ""you just got Bieber'd!"" He's not talking to me."

"Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion."