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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between heroin and foot long dicks? Your mom isn't addicted to heroin."

"Was driving to work this morning and saw a pluming truck with the best slogan ever. Had to share... J&S Plumbing: Because sometimes a flush is better than a full house."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your coconuts, this ain't gonna be your average blowjob. As told to me by a passing homeless man yesterday..."

"""I'm on the Reich track baby, I was born this race."" -Nazi Gaga"

"What is time consuming? Eating a watch. . . . . Note: This is not my joke, credit goes to /u/Cokenut, and /u/Fluffy8x for setting him up."

"what's the worst thing about eating your veggies? Getting them out of the wheel chair......"

"If I was a waiter & asked if the customer was done eating & they said no, I would say 'fat fuck'. Then draw a hippopotamus on their check."

"Super Intelligent Student Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! and I'm going home now."

"What do you call a donkey throwing nuts? An astronaut."

"What is the awesomest/funniest or even smartest joke u've ever heard"