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Joke of the Day

"What is the Difference between Michael Jackson and a Grocery Bag? One is made of Plastic and a Danger to Children and the other one you put your Groceries in.. Ba dum Ching"

"I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something."

"My teacher pointed at me with...... My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said ""at the end of this ruler is and idiot!"" I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to."

"I knocked over the altar at a Buddhist temple the other day and spilled ash all over the monks They were incensed"

"How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order? I on it."

"Why did the geneticist get into advertising? Sex Cells"

"Potentially offensive Muslim pick-up line [NSFW] Hey girl, are you prayer? Because I'd love to do you 5 times a day"

"How I broke my cat's knees? With rude eyes."

"Being a software engineer is pretty cool because I can just stare at my screen/zone out & if anybody questions me I say I'm optimizing code"

"did you fall from heaven because your face is all screwed up"