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Joke of the Day

"University.... Close to being unemployed but with your parents still being proud of you"

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"A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself."
"HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan."
"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."
"A few disenfranchised primates got together to start a revolution.. ..they called it 'Gorilla Radio'.."
"If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island."
"""You're an idiot."" -My wife, after frantically looking around after I scream the word ""HAY!"" while pointing at hay for the millionth time."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"
"What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at? Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh"