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Joke of the Day

"Eating Chinese food is like getting an organ transplant There's always a chance your body will reject it."

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied 'er!"

"The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield."

"My rubberband gun was confiscated in Algebra class It was a weapon of math disruption!"

"A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn't I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?"

"Really wanted the day off, so I texted my boss... ""What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" I'm not coming in this morning. (I got some time off now)"

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first one says ""Man it sure is hot in here"" The second one replies ""JESUS RIVERDANCING CHRIST A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"In an effort to be sexier for my wife, I figured I'd pluck 60% of my chest hair... 3 of the 5."

"What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? A Chocolate Chip Wookiee."

"A shrinking man walks into a doctors office. The receptionist says, ""you'll have to be a little patient""."