51119

Joke of the Day

"""excuse me, (Chinese couple at the next table,) I seem to have forgotten my calculator, can I borrow your toddler?"""

"Christopher Nolan and Leo Dicaprio walk into a bar and then they walk into another one"

"I got banned from the hardware store Every time I walk in, all the stud finders start beeping."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Cherry ! Cherry who ? Cherry oh see you later !"

"Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery."

"cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil"

"Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget."

"How do black people hide on the internet? They go incognegro."

"Saw a guy riding a unicycle today. Actually, he was riding a bicycle but I didn't see him & I hit him with my car. Then boom! Unicycle."

"What does it sound like when two old people have sex? Snap, crackle, pop."