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Joke of the Day

"""excuse me, (Chinese couple at the next table,) I seem to have forgotten my calculator, can I borrow your toddler?"""

"The pirate mechanic repaired my sex-bot. Thar, she blows."

"What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid? Drop the base."

"When it comes to friends...I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies."

"Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan"

"Not sure if my cooking skills have improved or taste buds have adapted."

"What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer? Enlightenmint! More Gum Jokes!"

"Men go through 3 stages in life: Drinking from boobs, staring at boobs, and growing boobs."

"Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, a feather off a hawk and the blood of a unicorn."

"why don't Italians have acne? (bad joke) Because it slides off."