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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I are painting our house. I never knew there were so many greys. I hear there's a book about it. There's at least 50."

"Rather than vote, let's all fill out the 29 dimensions of what we want in a president and let eHarmony decide."

"If you take the D out of Devil what do you get? the D"

"An apple a day keeps the doctors away... an onion a day keeps everyone away."

"What do you call a black pilot? A glitch in the matrix"

"Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall."

"Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders."

"Caught my dog chewing on my law books this morning. Now he is Pro Bono."

"If you removed every blade from a 747's engines and laid them end to end, you'd go to prison for rendering useless a $357 million aircraft."

"When pigs get a toothache who do they see?' Painless Porker."