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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to be so rich I forgot what country I left my private jet at after a crazy weekend"

"My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar. I play a lot of single player."

"CNN has confirmed that aliens might actually be involved in the disappearance of Flight 370. At least two illegal immigrants were caught on camera boarding the plane."

"Sex is hereditary... ... if your parents never had it you won't either."

"When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences."

"Shit's Creek is actually quite lovely when you bring paddles."

"I guess I'll go to your party but answer the next question VERY CAREFULLY: will there be a cheese tray"

"A bunch of us in a car just ran over a clown... ... tragic sure but soon we can look back and laugh."

"I don't really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids' history textbooks."

"In general my philosophy is do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt people and it's not two spaces after a period."