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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine was run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry. When the policeman informed his family he said ""There's no easy way to say this""..."

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"I got my little brother a Cisformer for his birthday It's like a transformer, but it starts out as a car and stays that way"
"Guess what? Elephant Butt"
"Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs? Because they're good at picking their drivers."
"My dog saw a sign on a wall that said ""wet paint""... So he did."
"How dumb do you have to be to fly right into my fucking face? This is why we shouldn't allow bees to text."
"Classic joke, prim and proper don't read it! Guy asks ""When do you kick a midget in the balls?"" Other guy answers ""When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice"""
"Cop: ""Any idea why I pulled you over?"" Me: ""you've got a fat guy fetish?"" Cop: ..."
"What two letters do you say when you answer the phone? LO"
"Daughter: Dad, can I have some Kit Kat for my snack tonight? Me: Absolutely not D: Why? M: Because I said so D: Because you ate them? M: Yes"