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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill a hippie? Tape a hula hoop to the bottom of a pool"

"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"

"Not now, kids. Mommy's boiling the Easter bunny."

"I'm so horny the crack of dawn better be careful around me"

"Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies !"

"""My god, it's the zombie apocalypse. Everyone grab the most critical items and get ready to run"" *me holding a Shrek 2 DVD* Way ahead of you"

"AY LMAO's in a bar. Two aliens are sitting in a pub. One of them turns to the other and says, plububulaBBHAJGGIUI@@#GJKG?' The other one replies, Dude, you are seriously shitfaced.'"

"What does Captain Kirk wear to the fitness center? Jim shorts."

"I'd like a little pussy... This guy says to a girl he'd been chatting up ""I'd like a little pussy!"" She replied, ""me too...mine's as big as a house!"""

"Did you hear about the theft at the babysitter convention? The police ended up searching every crooked nanny"