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Joke of the Day

"Oriental Rugs and Tubs... could be a furniture store or a dyslexic whorehouse."

"Did the girl ever go to the whore Olympics? Nah, she couldn't be fucked."

"What are some good conversation starter jokes you can think of? Just some light jokes with bit of humor . Nothing too dark."

"Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions."

"I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven..."

"A girl just messaged me ""helpmyspacebarisntworkingcouldyoupleaseguvemeanalternative?"" Does anybody know what ternative means?"

"[on plane] Me: It's ok, more ppl are killed by hippos than by plane crashes Pilot: This is your captain speaking, I'm a hippo btw Me: Nooooo"

"*unplugs 100% charged iphone* *slides to unlock* battery 43%"

"What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey? Anchor."

"Fun Fact: The average 3-year-old boy can stick 11 kernels of corn up his nose before he needs a trip to the ER."