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Joke of the Day
"What do Smokey the Bear and Alexander the Great have in common? Their middle name."
Next Joke
"My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school."
"When people say ""surreal"" they mean ""real"", it's just most of your life is not very real, just repetition and routine."
"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? The fridge doesnt fart when i pull my meat out"
"The first rule of Yacht Club is you need a membership and a boat."
"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."
"I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door. ""Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"""
"What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist? A sumo shaves their legs."
"Wife: ""You need to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events"" Me: ""okay, I'll get out the wedding video"""
"What's the difference between a kindergarten class and an ISIS camp? I don't know man, I just fly the drone."