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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the library at the University of Alabama burned down this morning? All three books were destroyed. One of them wasn't even colored in yet."

"""will you be paying with cash or credit?"" ""Cash"" *start playing ""ring of fire"" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security*"

"I've been watching ISIS movements via UAV for the past week They seem to beheading in the right direction"

"I hate jokes about disabled people They can't even stand up for themselves"

"What's the difference between Greece and a good software application? Greece doesn't have default settings!"

"Three blondes walk into a bar You would think at least one of them would have seen it."

"You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May."

"Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?"

"What do you tell your wife with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"Refrigerator ice dispensers are perfect for those times when you need either zero or 5000 ice cubes."