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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike? A Piecycle."

"Hollywood should remake ""Freaky Friday"" between a priest and a scientist. The Title should be ""Converting the Masses"""

"I just walked through a spiderweb and invented the next Macarena."

"If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people."

"""i like the little round slices of shitty hard bread in chex mix. that's actually my favorite part"" -a monster"

"Him: Boo! Me: Did you just call me your Boo? Him: I was scaring you! Me: Mission accomplished. *backs away*"

"If you believe in God, yet you can't believe it's not butter, then your faith needs to get its damn priorities straight."

"What I say to someone who's being crabby: Clam down, I'm shore it'll be fine."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger"

"I too found a safe at work and tried opening it... Bank security guard fired at me and police arrested me. It was not safe for me."