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Joke of the Day

"I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"If you want to hide something from me, put it on my voicemail."

"I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later."

"Where can you find the strongest tea? Cliffsides (because it's so steep)."

"There are 10 types of people in the world - those who know binary and those who other people talk to in the bar :-)"

"One of the anchors on CBS Sports just referred to smoking weed as ""toking salad"" and from that alone I'll bet my life savings he's a dad"

"two cows in a barn One turns to the other and says, ""Man this mad cow disease really has me on edge."" then other cow says ""*Pshh* I don't care, I'm a helicopter!"""

"*whispering to my newborn son* weed is tight. im siked for u to try it son. im so excited for you. i love you"

"I need the ""Viewer Discretion Advised"" voice to narrate my life."

"Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !"