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Joke of the Day
"""Beat up anybody you see drinking 7UP"" -first rule of Sprite Club"
Next Joke
"Missed connection. You cut in front of me at Starbucks in May, 2009. I finally thought up a witty response."
"Accidentally tweeted the typo ""iLettuce"" a few minutes ago and now Apple fans are lining up in front of my house."
"What do you call a midget clown that juggles? A Juggalo"
"Money can buy happiness. Give me 100 million dollars and I'll prove it to you."
"Why did the leper chase the leopard? Because she wanted the D. (I dreamed this joke last night. Not bad for a dream joke.)"
"Mrs. Piggy Q. Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey? A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork."
"If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?"
"I went to see a palm reader. ""Judging by your palms,"" he said, ""I can tell that you masturbate frequently."" ""Sorry,"" I apologised, ""I should probably wipe that off."""
"I was nervous leaving my ex in the backyard with my wife. I'll put a patio on them later."