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Joke of the Day

"Why do power lines hum? Because they don't know the words."

"My stepson and his friend are driving around in my car. If he wrecks it, I have insurance. If he plays Nickelback in it, I'll murder him."

"There's a sign at the airport in Pristina Welcome to Kosovo Your car is already here"

"My ex girlfriend is like an archaeologist ...always digging up useless shit from the past"

"All my friends say that I'm a psychopath. That's not true, I don't have any friends."

"""Mum! Dad's got his cock in the biscuit barrel!"" ""Don't worry, he's just fucking crackers."""

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Kansas sucks, and Texas blows"

"teacher: there's no such thing as a stupid question me: are sharks just mean dolphins teacher: ok i was wrong"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can actually finish a race"

"A teenager goes in for his regular physical Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Teen: No Doctor: Do you smoke or do drugs? Teen: No. I'm also not sexually active. Doctor: Well no shit"