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Joke of the Day

"I treat you like a son But you treat me like a son of a bitch! Made me laugh for 5 mins when I heard it lol"

"What spoils quicker than unrefridgerated meat? The Walking Dead's facebook page."

"At what age do you tell a highway it's adopted???"

"My bike is getting old. I had to retire it."

"What's the best part about banging twenty two year olds? There's twenty of them."

"50 cent declares bankrupcy... he hasnt got a dollar to his name"

"What do you call 10 politicians at the bottom of the sea? A good start."

"Cats are perfect for those who want to experience the indifference and hostility of the workplace in a pet."

"*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall"

"Wife: Whatchya thinking about? Me: *Thinking about how dogs understand more English words than I understand dog words* Science stuff."