48733

Joke of the Day

"[An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] ""Get out of here, NOW!"" ""Why?"" ""HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?"""

"I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80's cartoons taught me to do it as a kid."

"Doctor Doctor I think I need glasses You certainly do Sir this is a fish and chip shop!"

"Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl? She was a little shellfish."

"What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? Shut up."

"You know what I heard? Sheep"

"What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears? Polar bears gather around the ice hole."

"Always end a conversation with ""gotta run"" so people think you're into fitness"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the P is silent!"

"Got a pretty bad burn on my arm. I was putting a pie in the oven & my dad came up behind me & put a cigarette out on my arm."