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Joke of the Day

"When I see starving children in 3rd world countries, I get so sad knowing there's no way they'll ever be able to retweet me."

"Lots of nouns have particular GROUP names. A MOB of kangaroos, a HERD of cattle, a TEAM of footballers. What is the name for a group of Bankers? A WUNCH."

"A woman is just like a condom. If she's not on your dick, she's in your wallet."

"A hot chick asked me what was the difference between sex and conversation. I said ""let's lie down and talk about it"""

"What do you do if you find a trumpet growing in your scottish garden? You root it ooot!"

"What would be the worst possible thing to see on Reddit after losing your family in a car crash? [removed] (two children)"

"A giraffe walks into a bar... ...and says, ""Ok boys, high balls are on me."""

"What were the old-time gangster's last words? ""Who put this fucking violin in my violin case?!"""

"Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants? Because Chernobyl fallout."

"What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people? Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked."