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Joke of the Day

"How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. And they get 3 credits for it."

"There's a high proportion of people with ASD in scientific fields. Autism causes vaccines."

"At the grocery store, my daughter held up two types of fabric softener... ...and she asked, ""Would you rather have dryer sheets, or dryer balls?"""

"TEBOW FEVER!! I haven't seen this many people following a white bronco since OJ!!!!! Ba-ha-ha!!"

"What do lesbians use to get on top of a building? A scissor lift."

"I don't always roll a joint, But when I do it's my ankle"

"Its going down, basement. Friday the 13th guess whos playing Jason? Tuck yourself in you better hold on to your teddy. Its Nightmare on Elm street and guess whos playing Freddy?"

"What a coincidence. My state of the unit address focuses on jobs as well."

"Why did that guy shoot up the church in South Carolina? He thought it was the white thing to do."

"I bought a girl a drink at the bar. It hurt to see her give it to her boyfriend. But it was hilarious to see him drink the roofie."