4826

Joke of the Day

"My feet were killing me yesterday. I bought some in-soles thinking they'd probably do nothing to help. Today I stand corrected."

"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and the other one to hold the penis.. I meant... The ladder."

"This party is boring. Let's make like a baby and head out."

"It's been about 3 years since my last drink and I'm still hungover."

"I FREAKING SWEAR!! IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME WHAT AN EASY-GOING, PATIENT, AND CHILL PERSON I AM, I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!!!"

"Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months? A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years."

"I can do something that Einstein can't. Breathe."

"What do you call a mexican who just took a shower? A clean beaner."

"SipXecs - I don't always SipX But when I do, I sip Dos Equis nerdjokes"

"A blind man walks into a bar ""Ow!"" he exclaims. The bartender responds by saying that he doesn't know that drink."