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Joke of the Day

"This is how I tell if someone is paying attention. You were not :D"

"Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark Hives."

"What did the dog say after it slid across some sandpaper? Ruff."

"HAHA ME AND MY NEW BOYFRIEND QUIT SMOKING TOGETHER NO ONE WILL GET MURDERED FOR SURE."

"Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall"

"When Big Johnny tried to fly without an ID... ...the TSA diagnosed him with an enlarged prostate."

"Medical fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well!"

"I still remember the last thing my grandma said before she kicked the bucket. ""hey, watch me kick this bucket""."

"What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave? Everyone started partying like it was $19.99."

"If Excel had a record label.... It would be Excel ENT. I'll see myself out."