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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood."

"My best friend was talking to me about proposing to his girlfriend. I'm not sure though, she's not really my type."

"Why would 12:00 make the best cop? ""Hands up"""

"Where does one apply to be a ""kept man""?"

"What do you call it when you accidentally drop a flower? An oopsy daisy."

"So it's world Philosophy day today and I was trying to think of something deep to say... The best I could come up with was lagoon."

"You know how some people call their erect penis a 'hard on'? What do evil midgets call it? A *minion*"

"""Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me."" THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???"

"Buy Domino's Fire everyone Hire dragons Fire roasted pizzas Delivery in six minutes or less IMAGINE DRAGONS"

"What's the difference between a swimmer and a gay? The swimmer smells like chlorine all over his body, while the gay only smells like chlorine on one part"