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Joke of the Day

"Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi? Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works."

"I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled ""Intel"""

"My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt"

"I wonder about the people who unfollow after one day. What were they expecting, Louis C.K.?"

"Knock knock ""Hey Walter, wanna hear a joke?"" ""Sure"" ""Knock kno- "" ""I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!"""

"""Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"""

"People who say ""Don't shit where you eat"" have clearly never heard of Chipotle"

"I'm gonna start using my cat's ages like y'all do your kids. 5 just projectile vomited and 1 is trying to eat it off the floor."

"What is ET short for? Because he has short legs"

"me: goodnight moon moon: i have a boyfriend"