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Joke of the Day

"If I ever find out that my wife is going to be an octo-mom... I'm octa-gone."

"I made a belt out of $100 Bills. It's a waist of money."

"When I told my friend how my dad drowned in the longest river on earth, he didn't belive me. He was in denial."

"Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic? Because he enjoys living in denial."

"I'm 5'5"" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things."

"When I see battlestar gallactica, I feel this! Cylons are bunch of mean girls."

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."

"If two feminists get drunk and hook up, were they both raped?"

"Knock Knock Whos there Ellen Ellen who? Ellen Pao Oh k lol stay out."

"""Cash or Debit?"" ""Did you just assume my tender?!"""