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Joke of the Day
"If I ever find out that my wife is going to be an octo-mom... I'm octa-gone."
Next Joke
"""Oh shit I murdered someone"" ""You should turn yourself into the police"" ""Great idea!"" *puts on badge and hat* ""Looks like a suicide to me"""
"Scientists have recently created a new hybrid by mating a male donkey and a female deer. It isn't very beautiful, but that ass doe"
"JUDGE: I find you guilty of murder. Sentenced to life. LAWYER: But it was only 20 minutes of murder. JUDGE: Oh, then you're free to go."
"Like most men, I have two personalities... the guy before the orgasm and the one after."
"DEMON: [roars] KNEEL, MORTALIT IS I, BAELROTH THE SPOON-HIDER ME: omg what're u gonna do to me? DEMON: werewere you not listening just now"
"What do Dave Mirra and The Offspring have in common? No Self Esteem!"
"What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife? She went to the battered women's shelter"
"My hus thinks I'm getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym to get all sweaty. But what he doesn't know is that my ""gym"" is spelled ""Jim."""
"Its good to die like my grandfather, painlessly in his sleep. Its bad to die in a terrible accident, like the passengers on his bus."