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Joke of the Day
"What do you say to a midget that is a hooker? You must be this tall to ride."
Next Joke
"A son is coming out to his father ""I'm gay"" the son says. ""You aren't thinking straight"" says the dad. And then they laugh and hug, for it was a dad joke."
"*puts bread in toaster* hmm something strange about the toaster today Duck(from in toaster): no there isnt"
"I put an ad in Craigslist for a muscular blonde with strong arms, excessive body hair and a thick British accent so I'm dating Madonna now."
"Every time you enter a room, you should say ""Smells like farts in here."" This way when you fart later, they'll never suspect you."
"Hangovers: because you had so much fun, you deserve to think about it all day"
"Can you imagine if none of the midwives showed up for a birth? That would be a midwife crisis"
"my uber driver said today, ""I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."" Then I said, ""Turn left"""
"Doctor's Office Roses are red Violets are blue I have an uncomfortable Bladder issue"
"What do you call a scale that always resets itself to zero? Tareable"