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Joke of the Day

"What does a Mexican use to cut pizza? Little Caesars"

"Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague? They needed a system of Czechs and balances."

"""If only she had a more expensive purse, THEN she'd be hot."" - no guy ever"

"Coordinate geometry is terrible. I failed the last test, but it turns out that the next unit continues it. Will I ever get distance from it?"

"I'd love a video montage of every single time I've walked into a room and forgotten why I'm in there."

"Just lost my mood ring... not sure how I feel about that."

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge? *""I set* ***who*** *free?""*"

"As an American, the moment I stop feeling full is the perfect time for a light snack. Or maybe a whole cheesecake or dozen donuts. Whatever."

"Two eggs were boiling in a pan. The female egg said to the male egg, ""Ooh, look, I've got a crack."" The male egg replied, ""Calm down, I'm not hard yet."""

"I used to work in a darkroom developing photographs... but I quit because there was too much negativity."