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Joke of the Day

"*Puts couch down as emergency contact*"

"Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up! Garage door is broken"

"Why was the anomaly so poor? Because it didn't make any cents!"

"Why should you never shout at a pirate? Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)"

"What does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles."

"Why did the goose cross the road? Because he's an asshole."

"Did you hear the joke about the roof? I would tell you, but it tends to go over people's heads"

"Did you hear about the Pigeon rebellion? Yeah, it was a ""coo"" d'etat."

"What do you call a lost crayon? a Strayola"

"What does popcorn and KFC have in common? Greasy, old kernals"