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Joke of the Day

"An american walks into InternetIsBeautiful. [Removed because he isn't an interactive solar system map]"

"5 female pigs + 5 male deer What do you get when you have 5 female pigs and 5 male deer? 10 sows and bucks (say it out loud)"

"How did the Nucleus escape from prison? through the cell wall."

"Why did the terrorist cross the road? To send people to the other side."

"My voicemail greeting: Its 2016, please hang up and text me before the beep so I don't get a notification."

"What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini? You won't find a Lambo in a landfill."

"[at hairstylist] Make me look like I'm running really fast."

"Why am I not afraid of Michelle Obama banning soda pop? She said ""If you like your Dr. Pepper, you can keep your Dr. Pepper."""

"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."

"What does the base-jumping gardener say? GERANIUM!"