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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon? A: A vacant posession."
Next Joke
"How much porn did Jared Fogle have on his computer? A pedobyte."
"How many more spills do you think parents in paper towel commercials can take before they just push one of those kids down the stairs?"
"I have the confidence of a bald headed eagle, and the shy modesty of his distant relative the combover falcon."
"Our 2-year-old is entertaining everyone at the restaurant by screeching like a seagull every fifteen seconds."
"{Stalker Diary} I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night."
"Alanis Morissette: It's like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Spoons R Us clerk: Ma'am, nobody asked you to shop here."
"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"
"What do you call an Irishman that stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"
"What separates humans and animals? The Mediterranean sea."