47041
Joke of the Day
"Naps are for old people. I was taking a horizontal life pause."
Next Joke
"Soon be Christmas... WHO SAYS doing Christmas shopping early avoids the crush? Last year, I did mine a full 12 months in advance, and the shops were just as busy as ever."
"My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer for 6 years. I never knew he was a barber."
"What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? They're both alright for a ride until your mates find out!"
"One day long, long ago... ...there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch. But it was a long time ago, and just for that one day. The End."
"Hugh Jackman I like to call Hugh Jackman, Huge Jackman because I imagine he has a big dick. When he masturbates, he would have a Huge Jack, Man."
"What is a simile? It's like a metaphor."
"If M. Night Shyamalan told a knock-knock joke. * Knock knock. * ""Who's there?"" * ""M. Night Shyamalan."" * ""M. Night Shyamalan who?"" * ""Nah, I'm just messing with you. I was inside the whole time."""
"What do you call a chess blunder where you lose your castle? A Rook-ey mistake."
"A day before the elections Hillary tells Bill: ""You know, tomorrow there will be two presidents in one bed."" Next day Bill asks Hillary: ""So.. do I wait Trump here or should I go over to his place?"""