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Joke of the Day
"Bound by notifications, we are the Fellowship of the Ding."
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"What's Donald Trump's least favorite music band of all time? Foreigner."
"Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that escaped from prison? The police reported a small medium at large."
"How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read below] How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read title]"
"[trying to avoid awkward silence on first date] you ever see a horse throw up? ""no"" *smiles and turns phone sideways so video gets bigger*"
"When do you ground an astronaut? When they're astronauty."
"Polish math prodigy Knock knock! Who's there? Polish math prodigy with slurred speech. Polish math prodigy with slurred speech who? Toomasz Whizzski"
"Why are some girls so odd? Because they can't even."
"[Eating] Waiter: How's the meal? Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ..."
"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their faces."