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Joke of the Day

"Where did Timmy go when the bombs fell? Everywhere."

"Teacher: Any questions *raises hand* T: NO DUMB ONES ""Can you see continent names from space"" T: FOR FU-..ugh...Not if it's cloudy bud"

"[day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that"

"How come there are no Jared Fogle jokes on reddit? No I mean it im just asking,"

"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""

"I called in a reserve player... from the wrong team! Whoops, wrong sub"

"Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite."

"What do Donald Trump and Pokemon have in common? The only thing they can say are their name and random bullsh**."

"Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes? Because icing is not allowed."

"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."