46175

Joke of the Day

"A husband finds his wife in bed with three men. He says, ""Well, hello, hello, hello! His wife says, ""Aren't you going to say hello to me?"""

Next Joke
 
"The other day I managed to start my computer up with the touch of a random button I guess you could call it F8"
"I'm going to name my son Glove Being handy will come to him naturally"
"Dear media: There's nothing shocking about celebrities going topless, getting drunk, or falling over. nnLet me know when they read a book."
"How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart? When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes."
"If I had a million dollars for every time I looked at the negative side of things, I'd have way too many god damn taxes to pay."
"Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?"
"I adopted a rescue dog early this morning... But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is bullshit."
"People with profile pictures of their kids. Stop it. All I can think is, why are these toddlers trying to add me on facebook?"
"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, ""It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."""