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Joke of the Day

"A husband finds his wife in bed with three men. He says, ""Well, hello, hello, hello! His wife says, ""Aren't you going to say hello to me?"""

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"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today."
"Dear waiter, You messed up my order because you didn't write it down. I employed your strategy while calculating the tip. Love, David"
"Donald Trump Announces tomorrow his campaign has been the best April Fools Day Joke Ever."
"my wife wouldn't let me wear my pajama jeans to her awards luncheon thing because you can ""see my balls through them"" smh"
"*hears someone breaking in* *grabs gun and walks down hallway* *cord drags* *realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt* *gets shot*"
"The best time to propose at a restaurant is right after you order but before you pull up to the window."
"""Try to score a goal. Don't use your hands. See you afterwards."" - Soccer coaches"
"If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive then you should try swimming with sharks. Cost me an arm and a leg."
"How do you circumcuse a whale? You send four skin divers down to it"