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Joke of the Day

"Guys, I love this subreddit, but we shouldn't joke about people dying... It's a very grave subject."

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"Got a great book of Ebay ""How To Improve Your memory"" But for the life of me I can not remember where I left the fucking thing"
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws at the end of its paws, the other's a pause at the end of its clause."
"You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off"
"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized"""
"I Can see the future, Donald Trump wins the election This post made with **Internet Explorer**"
"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"
"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me when she texted me saying ""I'm out for dinner with my friend Emma"" because Emma was lying beside me in bed"
"Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear."
"Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band.."
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