44704

Joke of the Day

"What's the most confusing compliment to give a woman in her 40's? If you had a daughter, I'd fuck her."

"What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice? ""REPOST!"""

"Girl, are you an unicorn? Because I wish you were real... ...Damn I am lonely"

"Revenge is never as satisfying as you'd hope And the cops always come sooner then you expect"

"If Kevin Bacon ever killed someone, the best a prosecutor could probably do is convict him of 6th degree murder."

"Happy Columbus Day! The man invented OUR modern work culture! He set out to do somethin, stumbled upon somethin else & took credit for it!"

"What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff."

"Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again."

"[climbs a Tibetan mountain for 6 days & stumbles out of breath into a Buddhist monastery] please. please tell me u have wifi"

"I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ""Oh Hell No!"" Button!!!"