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Joke of the Day

"Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? *The ultrasound guy.* Who's the coolest guy in the hospital when the ultrasound guy's off? *The hip replacement guy.*"

"Why don't kleptomaniacs have a sense of humor? Because they take everything, literally...."

"My review of Ebert's latest venture: I give it 6 feet down"

"They say ""pick your battles"", so today Oreos win."

"You hear about the highly-productive pastry factory that has trouble retaining employees? It has a high turnover rate."

"What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope!"

"Why did the snowman have a smile on his face? Because the snowblower was coming down the block."

"Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM! -high fives Socrates-"

"What is the name of Mark Zuckerbergs mother? Motherzucker"

"Protestant joke Q: How many Protestants does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they live in eternal darkness."