44627

Joke of the Day

"Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither"

"Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce? They become outlaws"

"Best joke in class So my teacher says: ""all men are the same"" and a classmate says to her: ""oh, so youve tried all of them so you know?"""

"I'm a Mexican with a black belt Call me Juan Punch"

"A Drinking Problem! Math Teacher: ""If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"" Student: ""A drinking problem."""

"How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date? Premature emasculation."

"Why Jared Leto should win an osvar for Suicide Squad. *spoilers Not ONCE did his Joker mention that he's a vegan."

"I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that."

"SKETCH ARTIST: *holds up drawing of a single bit of straw* CAMEL: [in a wheelchair, tears in his eyes] That's him!"

"Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years."