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Joke of the Day

"With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries as the Subscriber Countdown"

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"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."
"A blonde goes into a bank... ...to withdraw some money. The clerk asks her: ""Could you please indentify yourself?"" The blonde pulls out a mirror from her bag, looks into it and says: ""Yes, it is me."""
"The word condominium has the word condom in it. hehe ;)"
"What's Sauron's favorite soft drink? Mountain Dewm"
"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."
"They laughed at me when I bought Velcro sneakers but no one will be laughing when the great shoelace drought of 2044 comes"
"My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other... Her name is Ilene Wright."
"So I read the dictionary the other day. Turns out the zebra did it."
"A guy in Saudi Arabia once masturbated, breaking the law of the land. His name? Sheik Dawood."