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Joke of the Day

"With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries as the Subscriber Countdown"

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"My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom This morning we synthesised a new protein chain"
"PMS jokes are not funny... Period."
"6 yo: *yells* Mom! I'm on level 18!!!! Me: *peeks in room* PAGE 18, princess. You're reading. 6 yo: Oh"
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish."
"Why did the pirate go to Ireland? he thought he was going to Arrrland."
"LISTEN LADY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME SITTING ON YOUR BABY YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED ASKING FOR A BABYSITTER"
"Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)"
"Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them."
"Sidebar the Numbered Jokes joke, start linking reposts and numbering them For science"