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Joke of the Day

"Who cares if you pee in the shower? The bride and all her guests, apparently."

"Life hack : Receive a wide assortment of yellow, orange, pink and red envelopes, free of charge, simply by not paying your bills."

"What kind of jokes do bad comedians tell their audience? Bad jokes."

"Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens."

"Anger; the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."

"Grandma used to say ""Respect yourself & others will too,"" but she also used to say ""Damn N*ggers,"" so I don't know what to believe :("

"I met Mike Tyson and he had his tiger with him. I said, ""Wow! I can't believe you actually have a tiger! I thought that was a myth."" He said, ""Well you were mythtaken."""

"I'm going to start using ""reach around"" as business jargon and see if anyone corrects me once I'm finished."

"A guy shows up late for work Off to work A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"

"Why would you wrap a hamster in duct tape? So it won't explode when you fuck it."