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Joke of the Day

"As I've been teaching myself how to use GIS again, I've been listening to a lot of Eminem. And I'm beginning to feel just like a map god, map god."

"For five years my mother tucked me in at night... she really wanted a girl Credit goes to my friend Nick for telling me this one. Hi Nick!"

"A man walks into a bar... ...with a duck on his head. The bartender says, ""May I help you, sir?"" The duck says, ""Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."""

"How much do pirates pay for piercings? A buccaneer!"

"What was wrong with the homeless guy's IPad It was missing a home button!"

"Why was Hitler bad at math? Because could never find the Final Solution."

"Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips? For the Halibut."

"*puts finger over your lips* Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *feeds you more applesauce making airplane noises*"

"A termite walks into a bar and asks ""Where is the bar tender?"""

"I have sixth sense, I see stupid people."