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Joke of the Day

"Three New Yorkers are sitting at a bar... I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about being from New York."

"I went to my new male Gynecologist and he said to spread my legs so that he could numb it down there. So he went down and went numnumnumnumnumnum"

"Drake started from the bottom. Of Darwin's evolution chart."

"Nothing like sitting on a chair at your kid's school to inspire you to never eat cookies again."

"A guy who won free buffets for life committed suicide the other day I guess he had a lot on his plate."

"Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !"

"when life gives you lemons, use their natural acidity to temporarily blind your opponent"

"Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser."

"Did you hear about Charlie Sheens new TV show? It's called Two and a Half T Cells."

"The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey"